Therapy for Women in Midlife
Once upon a time, when we were little girls, we believed that stories, whether truth or fiction, would make sense, and that everyone would live happily ever after. But by midlife, we’ve learned that life isn’t that simple. By this time, we face multiple responsibilities, the progressive losses that come with growing older, and the impacts of menopause that change us—body and soul.
As women, we’re expected to check every box flawlessly and be everything for everyone else in our lives, leaving little room for us at the end of the day. Over time, many of us begin to feel disconnected from ourselves, our relationships, and our own identity—ultimately feeling lost, lonely, stuck, and overwhelmed.
My therapy practice was created for women in midlife. As we do the work of connecting your experiences to your emotions, we can begin to untangle your story as we discover what you truly want out of life—and how to achieve it.
Each Woman’s Story Is Unique, But Some Themes Are Common
There is a common theme among the women I work with in therapy: they are at a crossroads where something has to change—but they’re finding the process uncomfortable. The act of “untethering” is not as straightforward as they thought, and on top of it all, they’re experiencing the physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that come with (peri-) menopause.
Take Jane (not a real client). She just turned 50, has been married for 25 years, and has one daughter who is away at college. She works full time and yet she still handles the majority of chores at home. She finds herself feeling more aimless and alone since becoming an empty-nester, now that the hands-on, day-to-day way of being a mom is over. Her parents are aging, and her dad’s in hospice care. It falls on Jane to manage all of their needs because she’s the child who lives closest and the only daughter. As much as she loves and wants to show up for her parents—(and everyone else in her life)—she has grown resentful of putting others first for so long.
Here's the thing: our roles as women have been traditionally defined by our relationships to others. We are daughters, sisters, friends, employees, partners, wives, and mothers first but as we age, these roles shift, sometimes gradually, sometimes suddenly. When that happens, we can get lost—because we might believe that our identity/value/worth is attached to those roles. Combine this with the systemic changes that take place during midlife because of (peri-) menopause, and it’s no wonder so many women come to therapy asking themselves, Who am I, really?
I understand that going to therapy might seem scary. Taking care of our mental and emotional health was rarely normalized or prioritized in our generations. That’s why I aim to make the counseling process as comfortable, relatable, and affirming as possible. In our work together throughout therapy, we’ll unpack the messages you’ve received about women’s roles, cultural and familial expectations, as well as your perception about what it means to be a (peri-) menopausal woman in our society.
Got more questions? Send me a message!
What’s Your Story?
My counseling services are best suited to older Millennials and Gen X women who are experiencing the physical, emotional, and identity-related shifts of midlife. This might look like:
A change in circumstance—such as a divorce, a job change, or fluctuations in caretaking responsibilities (as a mom, daughter, partner etc.)—that may have placed more demands on you OR opened up space in your life.
Increased mental and physical symptoms due to (peri-) menopause.
The loss of a loved one, dream, ability, or identity, leading to grief, sadness, or despair.
New stressors that have triggered anxious, people-pleasing patterns.
A general feeling of being unknown, unseen, and unsupported by someone who “gets” it.
You don’t need to wait for some big, monumental change in your life to start going to therapy. You may just feel like you’re ready to tackle your questions and fears, once and for all. My hope for our work together is to provide you with the space to reflect on the chapters of your life that have already happened so that you can intentionally and authentically author the rest of your story.
Let’s Rewrite The Narrative Together
Whether you come to therapy with a specific issue or if it’s a more general sense of “something isn’t right,” we’ll spend our early sessions talking about your history, goals, and approach to life. This allows me to individualize the counseling process to your unique needs as I identify and map out specific emotional plot points, themes, and developments.
A tool that I find really helpful is the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Assessment because it helps me to understand my clients’ early attachment and trauma history. As we explore what happened in your childhood and in the generations that came before you, we can examine and maybe challenge some of the messages you received that may still be influencing you today. I’ll also assess how much the physical symptoms of (peri-) menopause are impacting your day-to-day life to determine if medical intervention could be beneficial in addition to counseling.
My hope for our work together is to provide you with the space and support you need to reflect on the chapters of your life that have already happened so that you can intentionally author the rest of your story.
Common concerns you may have before starting therapy:
A therapist won’t be able to relate to my experiences.
No matter what you bring to therapy, I promise you I can relate to some aspect of what you’re feeling. Since 2019, I’ve moved across the country, celebrated my daughter’s marriage, supported my husband through a life-altering health diagnosis, changed careers, and lost multiple close family members, including my parents. And during this time, I hit menopause!
When I had the opportunity to continue my education and become a licensed counselor, I knew I wanted to focus on supporting women at this specific phase in life. Because of my lived experience around what it’s like to feel unprepared for the changes that midlife brings, I am passionate about being an empathetic and supportive ally in this process for other women.
My issue isn’t “bad enough” to go to therapy.
I get it—as a Gen Xer, I know that counseling was stigmatized when we were growing up. Mental health wasn’t seen as a priority for the generations that came before us either. Even now, it can feel like something really bad has to happen in order for us to feel worthy of help or support.
The fact is that being a human is hard. All of us are faced with situations that overwhelm us, where past trauma resurfaces, or that just don’t make us feel like ourselves. There are many reasons to seek therapy—and there is never any specific criteria for coming. You deserve support for your mental, emotional, and physical health, and part of a counselor’s job is to make you feel seen and validated in your experience.
Therapy costs too much.
This is a common concern, but I like to reassure the women I work with that therapy is an investment in yourself. Consider what it’s been costing you to keep avoiding what’s really going on—probably taking a toll on your mood, relationships, comfort level, and ability to be present in your life.
If you’re worried about the cost, I am happy to discuss scheduling options that fit with your budget. I am also partnered with Mentaya, which is a service that streamlines reimbursement for out-of-network care. Contact me for more information.
Who were you before you were everything to everyone else?
Plot Twist Counseling specializes in therapy for women in midlife who may be encountering changes, challenges, losses, and (peri-) menopause symptoms.
Schedule a free consultation to learn more.
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